Overthinking

I find myself doing this alot. Alot; to the point that I’m scared to be alone with my thoughts. Overthinking results in only 2 ways (at least for me). Both being extremely dangerous mind sets.


The first kind, is the obvious; the pessimistic outlook. It’s the one where every single detail about something or someone leads to the worst possible situation. This kind of relentless thinking ends up with either a tear running down my cheek or a full fledged sob session.


The second kind, is the less obvious one; the optimistic outlook. This is when something as small as a compliment such as “you’re pretty” leads to me planning our wedding (obviously an exaggeration, but aids my point). This one is ironic because it leads to happiness, but only temporary. It raises hopes, that soar through the sky just to be shot down by reality. This then leads to the first kind of overthinking that intensifies the sadness as the mood swings are at their peak.


However, I know I’m not the only person that goes through this. Most of the people I know tend to overthink. And it’s not healthy!


Another thing that I’ve realised about myself, is that at any given point my mood completely depends on one soul person. Which is again, a really unhealthy routine. And that hurts even more when the person that defines your mood barely gives a damn about you.

Overthinking creates imaginary situation somehow seem real, which often (in my case) blurs the line between reality and fiction.

Do I make a difference?

Does my exsistance matter?
Do I impact lives?
Or am I just a heap of litter,
That’s only used to throw.

My heart is continually empty,
As I give more than I take.
And in the end any love I recieved,
Was always just fake.

Now all that’s left,
Is a sordid disfigured face,
All the sleep that I’ve lost,
Left me behind, slow paced.

I couldn’t handle this any longer,
So I stood up and said,
“If I let this prolong,
I’d end up sad, lonely whilst dead.”

I could feel my heart harden,
With each sob that followed.
Forming a shield; less vulnerable,
And a mind less burdened.

-Rabad

Please ignore all the previous blog posts. Re-introduction

Please ignore all the previous blog posts, that was just me as an annoying 5th grader. I mean, she is a pretty cool person but uses way to many exclamation marks.

I could just delete the blogs and save me some embarrassment. However, I’d like to keep it as a reminder to show my future self how much I’ve changed.

By chance if you happen to go through those posts, here is a reminder: I’m not the same person now. And I’m not embassed of the person that I was ( not COMPLETELY true) but I’ve changed throughout the years and somehow managed to actually start liking the person I am.

Recently my dad has pushed me to continue blogging, so I’ve decided to give it a go. Writing is something I’ve always been insecure about. And I’m going to use this as an opportunity to tackle my insecurities.

FLASH

FLASH

I HAVE JUST FINISH THE FIRST SEASON OF flash AND I AM STARTING TO WATCH SEASON 2.

It was originally a comic which they converted into a TV program. The basic story of the FLASH is-Barry Allen’s mother was murdered by something impossible, his father was in prison for her murder.

fifteen yrs later a machine at star labs exploded and gave many people different kinds of power and Barry became the impossible. He was taken to star labs to get himself repaired when Cisco and Dr. Snow found out that he got the powers of running faster than light. He wants to save central city from all danger And other people who were affected by the explosion.

He wants to find out who murdered his mom and get his dad out of prison.

 

 

I love it and I hope YOU love it.

 

– rabad

 

STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHH!!!!

STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHH!!!!

I don’t like studying so much and over that they don’t give us a study leave. They want us to study but at the same time they don’t give us time to study. My brother gets a study leave for 1 day but indirectly 4 days Gandhi Jayanti [Friday[today]], Saturday, Sunday, and Monday [study leave]. Since life can’t be so unfair to me, Saturday and Sunday he has to go for his intermediate Art exam while I am at home doing nothing [studying >=( whhhyyyy?]. Well my brother does not want to go for the art exam but, ha ha it is compulsory. He got F in elementary art exam and is planning to get another F.[9]

Anyway, the first week of the term exams are easy

Monday- geometry and English grammar

Tuesday-algebra

Wednesday- Hindi grammar

Thursday – English composition

FridayEnglish lit [little hard]

The second week is vary hard!!!!

Monday- English comprehension

Tuesday-Geography

Wednesday-history and civics

Thursday-French

Friday-HIND LIT!!!!!!!

I AM NOT GOOD AT HINDI I HATE HINDI!!!!

STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, AAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHH!!!!

approved by my brother. [9]

My brother is crazy about Minecraft !

My brother has gone crazy on a game called Minecraft. He gave it to me as a gift on my 9th birthday. I like that game too.

Survival mode is the game mode of Minecraft in which players must collect resources, build structures, battle mobs, manage hunger, and explore the land in an effort to survive.

In Survival, players have an inventory in which they may gather items. These items may be combined using certain recipes to create tools and other items. This process is known as crafting. Most crafting recipes need a crafting table

A new Survival game of Minecraft. The health and hunger bars, as well as the hotbar, are visible.

Creative mode is one of the main game modes in Minecraft. There are two separate versions of Creative mode, only one available in the full game, whilst the other, Classic Creative mode, is available for free on the game’s main website. Creative mode strips away the survival aspects of Minecraft and allows players to easily create and destroy structures and mechanisms.

Creative mode allows players to destroy all blocks instantly (including normally-indestructible blocks such as bedrock) and the ability to fly.

Pixel art and other creations made in Creative mode.

prayer

oh god, guide me, protect me,
illumine the lamp of my heart,
guide me, protect me,
make me a brilliant star,

thou art the mighty and powerful, [x2]
oh god, guide me, protect me,
make me a brilliant star,

thou; you
art; are

i was taught this prayer in my bahai class

PS-This is me 5 years later. Re reading my blogs and in a state of total cringe